HIV/AIDS

[paralyzer]

HI. Im new to this, so please bear with me. I am extremely worried that I have HIV bc I seem to have the symptoms..I have been with the same man who I know is STD free for about 9 months.. before him I was single, and went thru a very bad depression started drinking heavily, in which i had a few nights with a couple of different men, so I know that I am now considered high risk. The last time I was tested was 3 years ago.
Recently, I am not myself at all. I have pain in my armpits, my neck(sometimes) and now my left side of my groin. I have recently notices I wake up in the middle of the night, and im a little sweaty, but my 5 year old usually is too.. sometimes I go to take a deep breath and I have a shortness, and now I dont know if depression and anxiety are causing more symptoms for me. I am a hypercondriact, but I def feel pain in my nodes in different areas at different times, and they seem to be a little tender..i dont think they are swollen though. A few months ago I developed a rash went to the doc and he said it was something Rosea, and extremely common, i asked if it was HIV related and he laughed at me..I told him I read it online, and he adviced me to never look for med stuff online.
I bruise easy, my gums bleed when I brush, my jaw hurts (i do clench at night) I feel tired, have no desire to go out, I feel week...
I dont have thrush, or weight loss, no diarreah or loss of appetite, my major symptoms are the sweating at night(sometimes) and the lymph nodes...I find that when I keep myself busy and im not concentrating on my symptoms, i dont notice them...but i know that something is wrong and now I am mentally diving into this deep depression I feel so scared and alone...I broke up with my boyfriend bc I couldnt have sex anymore for fear I have something..I look at my little girl and I cry bc I know if I have this, I will give her up for fear I will accidentally give it to her.. I am extremely scared to get tested bc even though now Im scared every moment of every day, I still have that little ounce of hope and its not a reality...Please help me...